Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Grayson has been into sleeping the opposite way in his bed. I have no idea why and there is no rhyme or reason to it. Some nights he sleeps normally and some nights he wants to move his pillow to the opposite end. There is no reason to argue the point, so we let him. Tonight he decided was an opposite night. I tucked him in tight with a blanket since the sheets and comforter are no longer effective. This boy walks to the beat of his own drum. I have no doubt that he sees things from different angles. He is officially left handed and he is my thinker. He loves to sing every night before bed. Many nights we can still hear him singing 20 minutes after we have put him to bed. It is so cute. I can not wait to see what God has planned for his life.
Gage was so cute at bedtime tonight. He told me that when he was 6, he was going to get a girlfriend and that he wanted to be a Daddy. Of course, I explained that you have to be a little older to have a girlfriend and that before you become a Daddy you need to get married. Thankfully there were no questions on how you become a daddy----whew! He just loves his Daddy and wants to be like him----and I guess he is processing what it takes to have a family. He then proceeded to tell me that he wanted to have 8 kids---all girls!!?? Then he changed it up a bit and added some more kids----and some boys. It is so cute to see him trying to figure out life in his head. Something else funny about Gage and bedtime---he likes to know what he is having for breakfast before we can shut the door. If he does not like the first choice, he will give us some other suggestions. It is so funny and we have been doing this for months. I guess it is comforting for him to know how his day is going to start the next day.
I told Gavin tonight that he was getting so big and before he knew it he would be as big as Mr. Derrick (who is his 16 year old babysitter). I asked him to promise me---when he got older, that he would still love me. He promised and then said he would even still love me when he got married. I said, "you promise?" And he stuck out his little pinkie finger and said, "Want to pinkie swear?" So we did....tears welled in my eyes----I told him, I loved him and goodnight and he said, "Mommy, when you make my lunch tomorrow, will you write me a love letter?" I, of course, said, "yes buddy" and gently shut the door.
I treasure these moments with my boys before bed. Some days bedtime can be more stressful than others, but I really try to devote one-on-one time to each of the boys at bedtime. They are all so different, but so special just the same. This is precious time that Billy and I never want to forget. We are blessed!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Oh, and Gavin's first comment after seeing Billy was..."He's not suppose to have hair.." Ha! :)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The boys wanted to be the characters from their favorite video game---Super Mario Brothers. Gage is the mushroom guy, Gavin is Luigi and Grayson is Mario. I was not planning on dressing up, but when they asked me, "Mommy will you be the princess so we can rescue you?" How do you turn that down? So I order and adult size princess peach costume that turned out to be pretty large on me---actually making me look much heavier than I would have liked, but I love my boys and I was their princess for one night (no matter how big the costume made me look---satin and all.)
Our neighborhood has an annual cul-de-sac Halloween party and here are most of the kids. So fun! :)
Monday, October 18, 2010
This morning started like most mornings---I hit the ground running. I got up, made coffee, checked email & facebook (priorities people!), made breakfast for the kids, picked out clothes, helped get the kids dressed, fixed their hair, made sure back packs were in order, took Gavin to school, came back home, packed the little boys lunch, got their shoes on, finally got myself dressed, took them to school, came back home, loaded the dish washer, loaded the washing machine, picked up the house from the morning, and FINALLY sat down to do my quiet time. To say that my morning routine is busy is an understatement---it is non-stop, especially when Billy is out of town. This morning, I felt God calling me to spend time with him, but I kept saying, “let me do one more thing, then I will sit down.” This went on for at least an hour before finally sitting down and my sweet precious God knew exactly what I needed to hear this morning.
October 13, 2010 “Jesus Calling” devotional by Sarah Young“
TAKE TIME TO BE STILL in my presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.
Imagine the pain I feel when My children tie themselves up in anxious knots, ignoring my gift of Peace. I died a criminal’s death to secure this blessing for you. Receive it gratefully; hide it in your heart. My Peace is an inner treasure, growing within you as you trust in Me. Therefore, circumstances cannot touch it. Be still, enjoying Peace in My Presence.
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shin upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.
As you can imagine, reading these words resonated deep in my soul. So much that tears rolled down my face as I read them…tears from a beautiful place. Tears of joy. God was meeting me right where I needed this morning and it was amazing. What is even more precious about our God--- is when I looked up Psalm 46:10 (even though I already knew the verse), He brought me a little further down the page. I will share the verse in a moment, but before I do, I want to tell you a sweet story about Gavin last night.
I was putting him to bed, doing our normal nightly routine…prayers and talking about our day. I love this time of day with him because he shares more with me right before bed than any other time of day. Anyway, we finished our time together and he reminded me that he needed some Vaseline for his dry lips. We have been putting that on his lips for over a week. I ran down stairs and grabbed it and brought it back up stairs. I opened it up and scooped a nice amount of Vaseline on my finger and proceeded to put it on his lips. I have been doing this for over a week and never once--- was I silly about the application, but for some reason last night, I decided to run my finger back and forth on his lips really fast. If you have ever done that to your lips, you know that it makes a silly sound. And if you live in a house full of boys, you know that they love silly sounds. Love. Silly. Sounds. Gavin started to laugh so loud and deep that it brought tears to my eyes. It was a soul-filled belly laugh; you know those laughs that are good for the soul. I was laughing and he was laughing. We honestly could not stop laughing. It was one of those precious moments as a parent that you never want to forget. I love to laugh and even more, I love to laugh with my children. In the midst of all this laughter, Gavin said something that stuck with me, he said, “I am laughing so hard, I am going to cry joy!” I don’t think I have ever heard my child use the word joy. The definition of joy is the expression of a wonderful emotion. He hit the nail on the head. He was experiencing a wonderful emotion that could only be expressed by the word joy. As I left his room, I came down stairs and wrote down on a post-it the words, “I am going to cry joy.” I knew it was something that I wanted to journal to share with Gavin later. It was just so sweet that he knew that you could cry and it could be from a happy place. He is growing up indeed.
Ok, so back to my morning, my tears this morning were tears of joy. They were brought on from a place of so much love for My Heavenly Father and the wisdom (as little as I can have at my age) of knowing how much He loves me. He is always meeting me where I am with unconditional love. I found a great definition of biblical joy on the internet at www.bibletools.org
Biblical joy is inseparable from our relationship with God and springs from our knowledge and understanding of the purpose of life and the hope of living with God for eternity when there will be joy evermore. If God is actually present in our lives, the joy He experiences can begin in us (Psalm 16:11). Joy is the sign that life has found its purpose, its reason for being! This, too, is a revelation of God, for no one can come to Him and find the purpose of life unless He, by His Spirit, calls him and reveals it (John 6:44; I Corinthians 2:10).
My joy was flowing deep within my soul this morning. It is a joy that only he can provide. It is not something we can have on our own. I think He gives us glimpses of it in laughter, just like I experienced with Gavin last night, but the sense of purpose behind my tears this morning was so much more. More than words can ever describe.
Ready for the icing? And the whole reason for writing this story this morning? As I read down further in Psalms after reading, “be still!” My eyes focused on three words “cries of joy”. Remember I wrote that on a post-it last night?! I went back and read the whole verse,
Psalm 47:1 – Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.”
I have no doubt that God knew that I was going to make the connection this morning about Him and the joy only He can provide. He laid it all out for me. He just wants us to be so connected to Him that we cry tears of joy. I write this today to share apart of me and my relationship with God. His joy resides deep in my soul and it can in yours too. I am not saying I have all of this perfected, far from it really. I am just on a journey and have quickly realized that our only hindrance is our self. When is the last time you have stopped and let God be God? 30 minutes ago, a day, a week, a year, 10 years, never? Wherever you are right now, just be still. Ask the God of the universe to meet you right where you are and ask Him to show you what joy really means. He just might surprise you.
Blessings sweet friends – Tanni :)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Beyond me just recommending that you go out right now and buy these books if you have not read them, I wanted to share something with you that touched my heart so much----I cry every time I read it. The tears come from a place deep in my soul. A longing to hold on to every moment as it was my last. It encourages me to be present in my life and enjoy everything life brings me.
What I want to share is a poem from book #4 Rejoice. The poem is on page 209. I share the page number because when I read this page of the book, Billy and I were away in San Antonio for a kids free weekend. As I laid by the pool and read these words, I started to sob---not just a little bit--it was the big ugly cry that you would never want to happen in public---yes, that was me. I will own it. Thank goodness for sunglasses. :) As you can imagine, Billy was quite shocked that I was a ball of mush because he rarely sees that side of me. I tried to explain, but decided I could never do the poem justice so I just read it to him. I barley made it through 1/2 of the poem and I still can't keep it together, but he gets the point. Emotions stir inside of him too, but being the man he is, he does not show this outwardly. Anyway, there was a point here...oh, yeah, the page number. As we sat there having a moment, reflecting on how precious life really is....we both take note of the page number for some reason and realize that it is also our room number in the hotel. Yes, it was---Room 209 at the Westin. It was a sweet little gift from God to us.
Ok, I know you are sitting on the edge of your seats ready to hear this poem. But before, I share, I want to give you a little bit of background.
The mother in this book is writing a poem to her son that is getting married the next day. She is reflecting on the difference between when her daughters got married versus her son. There is a difference. Sad---but true. You know I have 3 son's right---hence the tears.
Ok---here you go, make sure to grab yourself some tissues especially if you are a mother of boys.
Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firstsI hope that these words mean something to you as they touched me so deeply. Over the rest of the weekend, Billy and I discussed this topic more. Just about being present and knowing that moments may leave us as quickly as they find us. We came home from the weekend refreshed and full of gratitude for our life and family. As you can imagine, our kids were extremely exhausted from being at the grandparents all weekend so we decided to put them to bed early. I took the little ones and Billy took Gavin. I finished with the twins way before Billy did and came downstairs. At least 30 minutes passed and finally Billy surfaced from Gavin's room. He was visibly tear-filled and begins to share with me what he just experienced. He was doing his similar nightly routine. He sits in Gavin's pottery barn kid chair and Gavin sits in his lap. They discuss the day's details and sing a song. Gavin proceeds to lay his head on Billy's shoulder and he falls asleep in his arms. This NEVER happens. It did not even happen very much when he was a baby. He can't stand to miss a moment. But on this particular night, he laid in the arms of his father and fell fast asleep. He is 6 1/2 years old. Recalling the discussions from the weekend about our kids "lasts", Billy realized that this was quite possibly the last time he would ever hold Gavin in his arms as he fell asleep. It was an emotionally joyful gift from our ever-present loving God and a moment in Billy's life, as a father, that he will never forget.
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.
The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips…
Last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip…
Last time when you had a binky stuck inside your mouth…
The last time that you crawled across the floors of this
Last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold,
Last time when you said you’d marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from the past,
Would I have held you longer... if I’d known they were the last?
Your lst few hours of Kindergarten, last days of first grade…
Last at bat in Little League, last colored paper made.
Last time when you wore your beat-up Green Bay Packers
Last time that you caught a frog in that old backyard pond…
Last time when you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly scattered images to represent your past.
Would I have taken pictures…if I’d known they were your last?
The last dark night you slipped in bed and slept between us two,
When last I read to you of God or Horton Hears a Who!
Last time that I smelled your hair and prayed after your shower…
Last time that we held devotions in the evening hours.
The last time you were M.J. in our games of give and go…
Last time that you made an angel in the melting snow.
I never even said good-bye to yesterdays long passed.
Would I have marked the moments …if I’d know they were the last?
Last piano lesson and last soccer goal you kicked…
The last few weeks of middle school, last flowers that you picked.
Last time that you needed me for rides from here to there…
The last time that you spent the night with that old tattered bear.
Last time that I helped you with a math or spelling test,
Last time when I shouted that your room was still a mess.
Time and life moved quicker, taking pieces of your past.
Would I have stretched the moments….if I’d known they were the last?
The last time that you needed help with details of the dance…
Last time that you asked me for advice about romance.
Last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams.
Last time that you wore a jersey for your high school
I watched you grow and never noticed seasons as they passed.
I wish I could’ve frozen time, to hold on to your lasts.
For come tomorrow morning life will never be the same.
You’ll pledge forever to your girl, and she will take your name.
And I will watch you, knowing God has blessed you with this day.
I never would have wanted, son, to somehow make you stay.
They say a son’s a son until he takes for him a wife.
You’re grown-up now, it’s time to go and start your brand new life.
One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss…
One last time to understand just how much you’ll be missed.
I’ll watch you leave and think how quickly childhood sped past.
Would I have held you longer…if I’d known it was your