I know it has been awhile since I posted. Everything is fine, just busier than normal...what is normal, really? Life is always busy, but managed better when you make time for God.
I had the pleasure of attending a Ladies Night Out speaking event last night. It was organized by Proverbs 31 Ministries. There were several speakers & singers...Lysa TerKeurst, Renee Swope, Jason Catron, & Ayiesha Woods. The featured speaker was Kate Gosselin from TLC's Jon & Kate plus 8. I love that show and have watched it for a couple of years. I honestly use to watch it to make myself feel better when I would get a case of "poor me". This was mostly when the twins were very little and the majority of my day was spent feeding, changing diapers and wrangling my very active 2 year old. I found comfort in the fact that someone else was going through a harder time than I was. If she could do it, then surely I could, right? Well, life is much more manageable today than a couple of years ago, for me & also for the Gosselin Family. Believe me, we still have our challenges, but they are just different.
Kate recently wrote a book sharing her faith journey through a very difficult and blessed time in her life...adding 6 to her family of 4. She was very candid about her struggles and also how God continually provided for her family. I was blessed to hear her story. As she was about to finish up, she said something that held much significance for me. She said, "God is always in control & you can not put a time frame on God."
Now, I know these statements are true because I have been a Christian for many years and God is absolutely in control, but that does not mean that I (Christians) don't struggle with trying to take that control away from God at times. I am struggling in a area of my life where I have been trying to put a time frame on God. This struggle is specifically related to the six frozen embryos that Billy and I have from the IVF we have done in the past. Am I saying that I want more children, not exactly, but I am trying to find some direction in this area and I have been putting "MY" time frame on it. I came away from the event with an "AH HA!" moment. It was like a light bulb went off inside my head telling me to STOP trying to control the situation and let GOD take control of it. So here I am, I will wait for God to give me direction. Where will it lead us? I am not sure, but I know that it will be inspired by God and not me.
I will share more on this later, but in the interim, please pray for God to guide Billy & I in this situation...specifically for the peace to adopt the embryos out or the courage to have more children.
After writing all of that, I realize my attraction to the show had a much deeper meaning than just empathy. It was God.
1 day ago